Top 10 Dumbest News Champions of the Week #371

hello to all my little spring rolls (what I ate this afternoon is my level of inspiration), how are you today? Without being able to get an answer from you, I will assume that you are fine, but you are a little tired, so do not move too much, sit down and enjoy this compilation of the most stupid facts. this week, a choice we implement every time in part thanks to @adjustire, an anonymous hero we encourage you to follow on the networks.

1 USA: He tries to glide on a rented Tesla and blows it up on the sidewalk.

Topito analysis: So it’s true that these machines are futuristic and expensive, but nowhere does it say they can fly or even hover. You can imagine that on a rental car, this somewhat stupid client exposes himself to having to repay a hell of a lot of money, he burned his wings.

2. Loire Atlantic: Arrested with 1.82 g of blood alcohol while walking to McDonald’s in a dressing gown.

Topito analysis: The worst thing is that I clearly understand what happened… He was drunk, he had a stove, he wanted makdo, he was too lazy to get dressed, he took his car, saying: “It’s okay, I’m not too drunk.” that’s all. Classic Saturday night.

3. Tournament of the Six Nations: the trophy won by the XV French team ended up at the bottom of the Seine?

Topito analysis: It was worth making the French vibrate to return the trophy and eventually dump it into the Seine. However, now we are almost sure that he will stay in France, and this is not so bad.

4. “It’s unbearable”: Overwhelmed by the noise of the neighbors, this Val de Marne sleeps in the bike room.

Topito analysis: The question we can logically ask ourselves is: what did his neighbors do to get this brave gentleman to sleep in the bike room? Because other than throwing a carnival in their living room, I don’t see what’s next.

5. Nantes: Behind the passenger of the car mounted on a chair

Topito analysis: It’s stupid because in the picture the installation didn’t mess up so much, only the belt is really not enough and he did it. Just avoid hard braking. And drive more than 5 km/h. Or get into the police. Otherwise everything is fine.

6 North: A stranger breaks into a school and teaches students

Topito analysis: Well, the story is quite special because the gentleman in question later tried to do the same at another school and he was known to the police. So it’s not super reassuring, but the weirdest thing he wrote in Morse code on a blackboard is really scary.

7. Her cat dies, the influencer successfully clones her

Topito analysis: Never underestimate someone’s love for their cat and what they are willing to do to find her. Powerful love, stronger than anything in the world and unconditional. On the other hand, the other way, this is crap, the cat clearly does not care about his master and he would have let him die with his mouth open. But they are so cute.

8. The drugs were hidden in the glasses of the Nantes football club.

Topito analysis: Football and drugs are incompatible, mainly because they are two different careers, and trying to reconcile them automatically leads to failure. Make a choice, because otherwise that’s what happens.

9. Serial “flat tire” near Nancy even punctured… his own tires

Topito analysis: The person has clearly suffered from puncture fever, a rare syndrome that exists that causes people to puncture tires non-stop, even if it means puncturing their own tires (which is a bit silly).

10. A mother unknowingly chooses a name for her child that means “poo”.

Topito analysis: The saddest thing is not so much that it means “poop”, but that “without knowing it.” This means that this person did not even try to do a little research to figure out the meaning of the name, which is a bit of a shame. Especially for a child.

In the meantime, waiting for the next week, you can go see you weeks, I highly recommend.

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