Top 10 dumbest news, champions of the week #372

Hey my little rice pouches, how are you? We are doing well, my faith, we are happy, like dads in pasta, as we say at home. You know that today is Sunday, and Sunday is Champions of the Week Day. So without further ado, let’s jump right into a compilation of the dumbest and weirdest facts of the week, which we find in part thanks to @adjustedtitle, a very nice person.

1. Le Mans: 100m+ roll sandwich breaks world record

Topito analysis: Every year they will do it again for us, maybe it’s time to find another Le Mans activity because things are getting serious. The first year was fun, but is there really nothing more you can do in this city to break your own records every year?

2. India: Leopard appears at the Mercedes plant, production stopped for six hours.

Topito analysis: Just an incident? Industrial espionage? The question remains, but personally I think this is a blow from the bottom of the belt from the Jaguar brand trying to screw up the Mercedes factories. And this is unfair competition.

3 Brazilian singer refuses to fart and ends up in hospital

Topito analysis: Trying too hard to believe she wasn’t farting, she got into her own game. Suddenly she was sentenced to farting for months to clear her mind, at least that’s what my gastrologist uncle told me. Yes, maybe it’s not a real job.

4. Presidential: Her turbulent past is revealed, the former pornographic actress is excluded from the party of Eric Zemmura.

Topito analysis: Uh-oh-oh… It’s always sad to see someone kicked out of the far-right party for an old pot. If even the far right doesn’t want to see you, that’s a very bad sign.

5. Dordogne: the robber of the city administration is arrested while stealing toilet paper.

Topito analysis: It is true that PQ is useful and we use it every day. But even if that means stealing something and risking jail time, you can steal something more expensive, right?

6. Joe Biden calls Putin a “butcher” after the invasion of Ukraine: “intolerable” remarks for the representative of the Tarn butchers

Topito analysis: So it’s nice to put up a shield to protect your profession, but now is not exactly the time to open it, knowing that on the one hand more serious things are happening, and on the other hand I doubt that this information reaches the ears of the two heads of state (and that they care).

7. He invites his relatives to a restaurant, thinking that his wife will pay for everyone, she refuses.

Topito analysis: It’s good for his face, because inviting a lot of people to eat, thinking that someone else will pay, is a good asshole trick. I hope he got into trouble billing.

8. Petit-Cevilli. The robber took Camembert and pate in his pockets.

Topito analysis: We’re having a good week for robbers to believe it’s such a crisis that they’re stealing essentials. TV screens and computers are now overrated, they just want to eat and wipe their ass.

9. Becoming a millionaire through porn, he becomes a priest

Topito analysis: If you have ever believed in redemption, this person may well make you change your mind, because in terms of an amazing journey, you easily admit that we have not seen anything better since Roselyn Bachelo went through 45 ministries without ever making a nothing useful. there.

10. The speech returns to the paralyzed patient: he asks for beer and metal.

Topito analysis: A person who has a sense of priority and whose recovery is a great pleasure. Good beer and metal to get back on your feet is not necessarily what doctors prescribe, but why not.

And we wish you a great week looking forward to next Sunday. As always, be careful not to screw it up or you won’t want to be among next week’s champions.

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